By Clyde Lewis

When you reach a point where all things sour the soul. When war and rumors of war engulf your sense of center and you feel out of control, you may end up flirting with twilight, remembering that it is always darker before dawn. The sun will eventually shine again. I have felt that the morning tells us that we all have another chance to get it right.

"Hallelujah, Noel...be it heaven or hell, the Christmas we get we deserve" G. Lake


The rain has been pouring down here in Portland, which is nothing new. Winter here in the northwest can mean soft rains and cold damp air. This year however the winter's chill has been furious. When the days are gray, you can't help but feel a bit sullen.

You want to crawl back into your bed and not face the day ahead. There seems to be an overwhelming sense of dread. And with the way the world is today the chaotic state of affairs merely add to the occasion.

I can't say that I am immune to seasonal attitude disorder. Many people in the northwest get it. They pop their St. John's Wort and others medicate with alcohol and various drugs. I have been trying to medicate by sitting with friends and enjoying a good movie.

It was a bit of magic to actually sit in a friend's home drinking cocoa and eating homemade chocolate chip cookies by the fire. We were discussing world affairs and losing ourselves in silly movies that really had no message. Just the idea of being silly and having a good laugh together as the winds gusted to 40 or 50 miles an hour in the west hills was good therapy for the winter's chill.

We would find ourselves talking until twilight.

The view of the city from high above Portland is magical. The waters of the Willamette River glisten as boats make their runs and the bridges lift to let them pass. The red brake lights of automobiles signify that the workday had started and that perhaps we had talked a little too long and in some cases indulged in far too many drinks.

My soul has always heard the morning sing. I know that may sound a little weird but the sun really does sing. It sends out a frequency that can be heard in the utter most reaches of the soul.

I guess if you are in tune with the universe you can feel it. Even if you weren't maybe it would give you a sense of purpose if you pretended to be in tune with the magic that exists just beyond your existence.

This is what the season is really about.

Magic.

Finding that inner child that remembered what it felt like to be snuggled in your bed. Imagining that reindeer were standing on your roof and a magical fat man with toys was climbing down your chimney lighting your tree and throwing dazzling boxes full of treasures that piled to the hearth of your fireplace. Adults find it difficult and embarrassing to think of such childish things.

It is difficult isn't it?

It's difficult to actually look into the faces of the children and wonder where we have gone wrong.

When did we lose our innocence?

When did we lose our trust? It is easy to look at the bad in people and not look at the good.

People who preach that magic is the answer somehow get the shaft.

Why is this?

They are ridiculed and labeled unfairly.

But they walk away and return undaunted.

The magicians bounce back because they believe in something bigger than you or I. That mystic eternity, that unknown place beyond the physical mind.

Magic is quite literally the reason we exist. It is the spark that started life. It is the light. A wise being once said "Let there be light" and he saw that the light was a good thing.

Remember the source of life is mysticism. It surrounds us every day, it binds us as the human race and it reminds us that we are literally children of the sun, children of a higher being. Yes, even children of God.

Children who look up in wonder at the same stars and the same moon. Trying to find truth out there in the cosmos.

We all hear about the truth. There are those who seek it. Who find it slowly as if they are on a sojourn. They learn it line upon line and precept on precept. Like drops of water or grains of sand little by little they gain wisdom.

However there are those who want it all and they want it fast and they seek it with malice. They seek it with their own agendas. If it doesn't fit their agenda they move to other locales to find like-minded individuals who think that the truth is an obligation without faith or action.

But this type of so called truth with a hidden agenda is like fashion. It changes constantly. It always seems to be the proper thing to wear for a while and then attitudes change.

We have seen this happen after we were awakened by the tragedy of life being snuffed out suddenly in New York City. The aftermath has left many people confused. What was once right is now left and what was once left is right and those who have remained in the center have been warned to take a side.

Peer pressure, and discouragement can act as wedge to breakdown your resolve.

However the message must ring out from all over the globe and into the far reaches of the universe that the real truth is found in joy and not hostility. In a world in tune with the magic of love and the mind of God there is no heaven or hell, no memberships or dues, no political sides, and no cliques, or social elite.

We are only visitors on this rock and from what we are learning we came from another life force somewhere out in space. What the poets and philosophers have called heaven. The place where a living God resides, a place where it is written, that he has many mansions.

There is life outside of our planet. To believe otherwise is a denial of a living God. The divinity of God is light and life, and life should be in abundance throughout the universe.

To the maggots in the corpse, the corpse is the cosmos. To the mold on the cheese the cheese is the universe. What do we know about the beyond? What force is behind the beyond. Most people who fight against you and shun you for your belief in life beyond earth probably don't know what is beyond their behind.

Does man look beyond his existence? Only if he desires to do so.

I am not only speaking of heaven and hell or beyond the grave. I am talking about existence outside the physical mind. The parapsychological realm.

There are many that say the heavenly kingdom awaits. Wouldn't we feel awful if we found out that it was right here and that we could share a piece of heaven with beings that observe us struggling from out there?

We must first achieve inner peace before we find heaven anywhere. Can we awaken to find that the truth is "what is" and that inner peace is the goal of the collective consciousness?

Forgiveness is the doorway to peace. Peace is the doorway to oneness and one mind leads to that shining place of light.

Giving "all" to all is the message of the season.

"All" in this case is selfless love, even to those you assume have harmed you or hurt you. When all is given, there you will find the miracle of life.

The miracle is for the asking. It will cascade down upon you like rushing water and the smiles and laughter will be etched into your consciousness. Sometimes these memories collapse as time goes on. They disappear like tears in rain.

That is why it is imperative to nurture the good times. To try and rely on the memories of good to conquer the realities of the bad. The good things are the magical things that make up who you truly are.

Even so, you are far beyond what philosophers have speculated, and what the prophets have prophesied about. You are as God created. I really don't think it is possible to really second guess God's purpose, only that it has been my philosophy that God didn't create this world to watch it fail.

He didn't create you to watch you fail either. He gave you obstacles to make you stronger. That is why my hope is to see a new awakening as we inch our way through this new millennium.

If we awaken then we can prepare to receive our inheritance. We can demand the miracle.

What is the awakening?

I can only surmise that it is the ability to empty from the soul illusory thoughts and belief systems. This way conflict can disappear and we can love again.

As John Lennon said:

"Some say that I am a dreamer but I am not the only one."

He simply asked us to "Imagine" a world where we all can live as one. If you can do that for at least 5 minutes then we might see a change in the world. If you could turn off the war and simply go into a place of solitude and meditate the peace of the entire globe for five minutes you would be doing your part for the oneness that we are hoping that you wish to achieve.

Is it so hard to ask for one person to think about peace on earth? To ask for the magic of awakening? And really try to keep it. In magic lies the secret of a better life for all.

It's not a sham or a con, it's fundamental and is the basis for all religions, and philosophies.

I have seen people who let illusory chaos invade their souls. I sometimes find myself in the same position. However I try not to obsess about the evil powers because it can consume you to where you keep your head under the covers.

There are those who fear the darkness and so they use a night-light. Then, for some silly reason they hide their heads under the covers. They defeat the purpose by putting their heads under the covers forgetting why they had the light to begin with.

God moves in mysterious ways, but not as mysterious as his mortal believers.

Some believe that magic is a cunning plan to empower a reptilian or draconian agenda.

Well it can empower it, but the magic that the Draconians use is perverted and is self defeating.

I have observed people obsessing and empowering the threat from evil realms by posting circumstantial proof, and connecting even more circumstantial dots saying that their purpose is to eliminate a draconian reptilian agenda. They target people and lash out with malicious attacks and finger others and, in the same process, preach enough intolerance to create an even bigger monster; The same monster that brought about and unleashed Abaddon from the bottomless pit of despair. Abaddon is the destroyer from the abyss and was unleashed upon the world.

Its wake was the dead of New York, and the hostilities in the Middle East.

These reptile watchers feed off of their own paranoia, which serves no one. They constantly give us updates on what the reptilian mind is dishing out. They think that cutting and pasting news and revealing where these "reps" are and exposing them will eliminate them.

It won't.

There are ways to combat the perverted powers that exist and the so-called reptilian agenda. To destroy them, you don't give them power. You do not feed their egos.

What empowers the reptilian agenda is ego. It is ego that can generate an atmosphere of fear, guilt, intolerance and hatred. To see the reptilian, one needs only look as far as the mirror. We all have the power to shift into a mode of predator. We all have the power to be as ruthless as a vampire.

Be it known that the vampires of the world want your blood to run cold with fear. It has a more pleasant taste and it empowers the evil that opens the door to control.

When they cannot ignore you, they try to scare you, when they can't scare you, they plot to destroy you.

Let me once again point out that the word DESTROY is also applicable to the destroyer, Abaddon, Appollyon. They succeed only if you empower them.

Remember Revelation and the numbers 9 and 11. It's the Apocalypse by numbers and the numbers add up to the chains of a damned soul if the egotistical, bigoted ,and selfish backbiting continues.

Terrorists want fear, egotists want bigotry, and their eyes look away from the light of divinity, the divine love that unites us.

Why continue to empower the effects of their terror when their foundation is chaos? It makes no sense.

No act of terror can bring about fear if we have a firm foundation in what is real.

No act of bloodlust can veil our belief in the eternal soul.

We must resolve not to empower the evil machinations of the few that empower the evil and resort to name calling and bickering because they are cock -sure that they have all the answers.

In order to demonstrate what I mean I must lean on a quote from Einstein:

"Whoever undertakes to set himself up as judge in the field of truth and knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the Gods."

I don't have all the answers and I have never laid claim to the entire truth.

I think I am getting close.

I am on a journey to find it, but the traveler always enjoys the journey and knows that his arrival to the truth comes with his last breath. Even then we are not absolutely sure that it is truly the end of the journey.

The journey ends in the realm of the physical, and perhaps continues in what is truly real. The spiritual experience-what most people call "home."

Why do they call it that?

Because maybe our souls existed before we were born physically into this world.

Maybe we are not physical beings searching for spiritual experiences, but spiritual beings seeking physical experiences. Then when these experiences are finished we then move on to the next fulfilling experience.

This is what I have often wondered about.

We are magical entities that bring this organic matter to life. We feed off of every experience and that is why we mature. As we wander through this existence we grow.

"Not all who wander are lost." J.R.R. Tolkien

We can be open to prompting of spirit and channel other positive beings of light that reside in the collective consciousness. All those who have lived and those who are yet to live.

I often feel that when I write. I am not doing all of the writing. I think I have beings on the other side guiding me to put down on the screen words that may strike a chord in those who can see beyond this existence and open their eyes to an even bigger picture.

I know that God wants me to succeed and I have to remind myself of promises that I have made to my God on a daily basis.

It is easy for me to get lost in what others say about me. I will continue on no matter how much I have been scourged or ridiculed because the message of awakening and light is the only truth I have.

I may talk about the absurd, or point out the inconsistencies, but it is only to demonstrate that there are those out there who believe in these things. The question is why do they believe it? Why is it not right to question the obvious?

Who agreed upon that which we are told is reality?

I try to keep my deepest beliefs to myself and those who know me understand that I am not as much a pontificator as I am a person who wants to find the true essence of unconditional love.

I believe that this essence can be found in the inner child. This is where magic lives. This is where the world becomes a candy store and everything is marvelous and beautiful, all there for my taking, and ripe for the beauty of imagination.

Once gain Einstein says:

"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity."

Truly these words were spoken by an awakened mind.

I guess that it is wise to open up to the desires of your heart. If your desire is to see your fellow man excel then that is the oneness that the poets and the philosophers dream about.

As a man thinks so he is.

His wishes are for what his fellow man wishes for him. It is an equal exchange. If his fellowman wishes him pain then by default the pain should boomerang back. It is a spiritual shield against the arrows of the adversary.

When words and actions seem hypocritical it should be the wisest choice to go beyond them and take courage as you evaluate the true desires of your heart.

The mind should awaken and hopefully follow.

If you find yourself in a position of finding fault with those around you, perhaps you should search your soul and see if the things you despise in others are the things you most loathe about yourself.

There are many who know me and I have said to them that I hear these very quiet voices. I listen to them. They give me glimpses into the future. I have had a hard time with this part of my life because I fear that I am losing my sanity.

The more I speak out about what I hear and see I frighten myself.

For six years I have broadcast Ground zero and I named the show Ground Zero because I knew within my heart that eventually we would reach Ground Zero.

Every day I hear the word ground zero on the radio and television. It is a fulfillment of "The Loud Speaker spoke up and said Ground Zero." I also hear many people saying, "Give up" your happiness, "Give up" your liberty, and "Give up" your life.

There are people who have never heard of me and they ask if I came up with the name Ground Zero because of what happened in New York. I tell them it is a coincidence because I have been around for 6 years and then I read my past articles and see how it all was being channeled through me in some way.

I was frightened by what I was writing. But I listened to my heart and I persevered.

I listened to the voice no matter how crazy I sounded. I heard the buzz underneath all the noise that said "Clyde is way out there, and there is no hope for him, but he is entertaining."

I deal with the idea that people laugh at me and not with me. I think that maybe people are right and that I am crazy. I think again and I don't care. I do what I do because maybe there is a higher calling for me somewhere and I still haven't found what I am looking for.

I am sure that those who understand my conundrum can sympathize because they haven't been taken seriously when they say that they have heard the voices too.

I have managed to pull through even when it has been against my personal interests and my personal wealth.

My passion for finding the truth has drawn others to me and I thank God every day for those who have helped me and have stuck by me no matter how uncomfortable it has been.

I can't change the direction of the wind. When the wind blows against me and the storm clouds rumble in, I take shelter with my true friends. I listen to others and I know when to batten down the hatches.

Some may see it as cowardice. In my defense I can say that the battle that is not winnable is best left for those who have the ammunition to fight. I do not always have the weapons to combat things greater than me. I know when to humbly bow to greater powers than my own. This is yielding to "what is" instead of what might be.

I don't run from confrontation. I don't hide from those who want to belittle or curse me. I let them say what they feel. If it is pure from the heart I listen. If it is malicious I listen and then I move on.

You may ask why? It's simple really.

Life takes care of life and the universe usually exposes those who are not pure of heart. It may not expose them in a time frame that is to your satisfaction but the promise from universe dictates that this happens.

I have had many great relationships in my life. I have many friends and those who have stood by me have always been those with a divine aim. Relationships without a divine aim have always been dissolved because they were based on nothing. They were based on malevolent besting.

Some people say that I am too careful when it comes to making friends or starting up love interests, but I look at what I could gain or lose if I continue the relationship and what they gain and lose by associating with me.

I have to deal with my duality as a talk show host, and my personal and private life. My friends have to deal with it too. Some can handle it and others choose not to. I can't fault them for this.

The reason why is because I have to deal with what I am truly doing with my show and with those who listen. I have a responsibility to stand by what I say and I wouldn't say it unless I felt it needed to be said. I wouldn't question unless it needs to be questioned. I wouldn't support causes that I don't think need my support.

I have had only one day to say my peace. The other days I would play the practical joker, the boisterous laugher, and the sad and bitter loner. All characters making up one complex person who is saying "Please Understand me" and then I laugh at myself.

Now it seems that no one wants to laugh out loud. They guard their speech, and they scoff at those who want to be happy. They become literal and they believe everything that blares at them from the television.

I can tell you that what you see on the tube is far from truth. If I call out and point this out I can be marked as a person who dwells in the negativity and is caught in the mire of hopelessness.

But there is hope.

The hope is that all things balance themselves.

Sadness is met with Joy eventually, anger is later conquered by happiness. Famine becomes feast, yin and yang, every little new age concept has its due.

I have been asked to speak my truth.

Well my truth is not important.

That which is true for me is true for you and true for all if it is really the truth.

No illusion can stand in the way of light. The light exposes the saints from the sinners, the prey and the predators, the victims and the victimizers.

Light is intelligence and knowledge and the glory of the universe is brilliantly shown with light.

Light from the sun, light from the stars, and light from the mind of God.

When you find yourself flirting with twilight sometimes you don't know if it is at sunrise or sunset. However it can be daylight in your heart and mind all the time if you listen to that still small voice that whispered those words that started the magic of life itself:

"Let there be light."

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